We Got 'Er

My apologies for my lack of updating you on mom's condition. It has been a busy few days and I have found it difficult to blog. She is okay. Not great. She is still sleeping most of the day away. Her radiation to the brain and lungs continues on for a little over a week from now. Side effects have been horrible. The fatigue is unreal. She cannot stay awake for long periods of time. The lady that once breezed through a 10 hour day on her feet, sometimes spends less than an hr per day on her feet. She is not used to being so inactive, and I think it saddens her sometimes. Other side effects include: chest pain, increased coughing, heaviness in her chest, and what feels to be a "lump" in her throat (that is how she describes it). This relentless lump makes it hard for her to swallow her food without feeling like she is choking. So her appetite (to my dismay) has been greatly effected. I am so proud of her, because she is fighting this thing so hard. She makes herself eat something everyday, though it hurts, just so her body can receive nourishment. She takes her medicine on time everyday. And she has been loyal to her radiation appointments. Her spirit is upbeat and commendable. But her little body, it breaks my heart to see her so physically down. I keep telling myself that there are good days and bad days. These are the bad days. But the good days are coming back, I just know it. After the appointment with Dr. Pimperl that I told you about, he spoke with Dr. Penland and together they decided that it might be best for mom to get that second opinion that she asked about. They took the liberty of making her an appointment at UMC tomorrow at 9am. The optimist in me looks forward to other treatment options and possible cures. But the protector in me wants to shield my mom from the exact same diagnosis again. It is not easy to hear that your mom may die in a year. But I KNOW it's worse hearing that you--YOURSELF may lose your life in a year. To know that you have NO control over what's happening inside your body. To listen to devastating news twice in one lifetime. I want to take her and put my hands over her ears to protect her heart from any more pain. I know she yearns to watch us go through life. To watch her grandchildren grow and to meet future grandchildren. To dance at Ronnie's wedding. Watch Neva and Nori cheer as Noah and Brady play football. But this diagnosis is a constant reminder that she may never see those things. Tomorrow, I fear we will be delivered the same sad news, but from a new face in a new facility. The pessimist in me wants to refuse to take her. But the daughter in me, knows that I have to.

Saturday, my brothers and I threw mom a surprise birthday party in honor of her 49th year here on earth. I have always pictured myself throwing mom a big 50th birthday blowout surprise party, but in lieu of all the negative things happening, I though she could use some positivity. As far back as I can remember, birthdays have been a big deal in our family. Even though we didn't have money, we got a cake, our favorite meal, and the family was going to sing happy birthday whether you wanted it or not. That is just how it is. Of course, since I have been "of age", I have done the same for mom. Sometimes we would "surprise" her when she got off work with food and cake and a gift or two. But nothing we have done thus far compared to this little party that we gave her on Saturday. Everyone was there, hugging and showing my mom love. She so needed it. She needed to know that just because she is very confined right now, the community still loves her, misses her and prays for her. When she walked in that room, and the whole crew of family and friends yelled "Surprise!" That big ole smile came out. We don't see it too often anymore. I was so glad it decided to come out and play. She hugged every neck in the room. There was delicious food (brought by friends and family), a beautiful song sang by a kind soul, and a slide show highlighting mom's life, so far. Everyone laughed and loved. And she got so many presents! The poor thing never gets fun stuff for herself. It was nice to see her opening gifts. She got clothes and shoes and hats and decorative items for her house. Her favorite present was a picture from a childhood friend. Looking back at her from the photo was a young teen, healthy and full of life. She teared up at the sight of herself and the memory of that day. In that same bag was a record, (not a CD people, a RECORD) of "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray....My mom's favorite old rock song. She smiled so big glancing at this inexpensive, yet incredible gift from the heart. There is no better gift for my mom, than the gift of time travel. The night was a success. She was elated and exhausted. She kept saying "y'all got me....Y'all got me good". We DO have her.....and it IS good... Great actually.

My dear friend Amber took pictures at the party. I will share them with you very soon......

Pray for our visit tomorrow.....