Fright Night

I asked them separately, but both of their faces read the same. They were confused, surprised and hesitant to answer right away. I guess to them the question seemed to be out of nowhere. I guess my reaction seemed a bit severe as well. It's probably not everyday that parents breakdown like I did, over something like this. But still, I stood there, waiting for reassurance....Waiting for my answer. Hoping it wasn't like before. You're probably wondering what my question was and who I was asking. Well, first let me tell you about our night.

Yesterday was a good day. My mom hasn't been out of the house (other than Dr.'s appointments) for a LONG time. So, we(me and Amber) talked her into going to walmart and spending her recently received, very first, EBT Card (food stamps). Now, I have mentioned that my mom is very proud and was a bit ashamed when she went and applied for this much needed financial assistance. She is not one to ask for help. But, we keep telling her that if anyone deserves the help, it's her! So when she received her card, we were excited for her, and encouraged her to be excited as well. Yesterday seemed like a good day to go grocery shopping and escape the confines of her bedroom for a while. We ALL went! Me, Mom, Neva and Nori, Amber, Brady and Noah . It was raining, so I devised a plan involving temporary front door parking, an umbrella and fast running that would keep mama from getting wet. IT WORKED! Of course, Amber, the kids and I were soaked! But that was okay. It was nice seeing mama walk around and shop without hesitation. Without fear of spending too much. The kids were wild, but we had a great time and we didn't over-do it. Mama still felt good when we left. Tired but good. The girls and I dropped mom off at home then headed to our house. Their dad was ACTUALLY off work, and we were all going to spend some time together.

The girls went down for nap immediately after we got home and when they awoke, we took off to the yard to let them ride their little gator! It's their favorite thing. Neva's getting great at steering (when she's not putting on makeup behind the wheel ) and Nori's finally learned to hold on tight (it only took a couple "throw-offs"). It was cute and fun to watch them drive over to Michael's parents house and back. It was sprinkling a bit, but I thought that just made it MORE fun! I gave Nori a little tylenol, because she has SIX teeth coming in and she was running a low grade fever.....Or so I thought.....

A few hours later 99 turned into 101....More tylenol

An hour later 101 had jumped to 103.....It wasn't time yet, but I gave more tylenol. (I didn't have any ibuprofen). I also covered her body in cool rags.

I gave that dose plenty of time to kick in, and when it didn't, I jumped up and started getting dressed. We would have to go to the ER.

I called Amber around 9:30 and asked if she would meet me. If she was well, I would have called my mom. But she isn't and the ER waiting room is NO place for her to be. I didn't want to be alone, so Amber was the "lucky" victim of my desperate phone call. She didn't even think, she just said "I'll be there". Typical Amber. On my way there they issued a Tornado warning for Jones county at the very time I was on the road. I didn't let it stop me. My baby needed help. It takes alot more than wind and rain to stop a worried mama. The ER experience was MUCh different than the last one with Nori. The staff was wonderful and swift. Nori was not an emergency and I knew this. Still, we were treated thoroughly and promptly. There were several other patients in the waiting room, so we ended up being there around 3 and a half hours, but it could have been alot worse. My mom, Michael's mom and even Amber's mom were texting for updates the entire night. Oh, how I wish my mom could have been there. While we waited, I had the girl at the front desk take Nori's temp several times so I could monitor it. It took the entire 3 hours, but it finally came down to high 99. I toyed with the idea of leaving a couple times. Thinking maybe, just maybe, we could keep the fever down until Tuesday and go see Nancy or Dr. Chard at Laurel Pediatrics (the two most wonderful pediatricians in the WORLD). But Amber encouraged me to stay and wait it out. Allison Touchstone, FNP was treating Nori. She was friendly, compassionate and very, very thorough. Nori had NO symptoms other than fever. None. So after a strep test, a flu swab and a quick examination, for whatever reason, she decided to do a chest xray. I didn't understand why at the time. But I am so glad she decided to do it. The results revealed a pneumonia in Nori's left lung. Mrs. Touchstone took us in her office to tell us the news. We found out that Nori would not need to be admitted because it was small and in the beginning stages. I was blown away. I was thinking and ear infection...or strep...or both...Not pneumonia. She told us she would give Nori a shot right away, then write a prescription for an antibiotic. We were to followup with her pediatrician.

The diagnosis, though surprising, was simple enough, right? Wrong. When I heard "pneumonia", it struck a chord in my heart that would not let up until I asked the burning question in my mind. I couldn't control my tears, though I was trying to be strong in front of my sick little baby. I asked the nurse....Then the nurse practitioner....

I asked them separately, but both of their faces read the same. They were confused, surprised and hesitant to answer right away. I guess to them the question seemed to be out of nowhere. I guess my reaction seemed a bit severe as well. It's probably not everyday that parents breakdown like I did, over something like this. But still, I stood there, waiting for reassurance....Waiting for my answer. Hoping it wasn't like before.

"How do you know she doesn't have cancer?"

I know it sounds ridiculous. But it wasn't that long ago that I was told my mom had pneumonia and an antibiotic would clear it right up.

 I HAD to know.

They answered at separate times, but pretty much the same way. They didn't make me feel stupid about asking.

"Cancer is unlikely. This is typical with children this time of year." (that was pretty much the unified answer I received) It sounded correct, but my broken heart won't let me believe it until I see it.

I have continued to cry and worry since I heard the news. Nori's fever has spiked since we left the hospital, but the medicine seems to be keeping it somewhat under control. She is active and pretty much Normal Nori. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. That I don't have it in the back of my mind that worse news is to follow. But I am trying to not dwell on it.

There is no doubt that going through something like this with your mom, can cause some emotional damages....But I didn't know just how badly this had effected me until I found myself asking medical staff if my one year old could possibly have lung cancer. God bless all the parents with sick children. There is no worse feeling in the world than that of a helpless parent. My heart, as it aches with fear for my daughter, goes out to all of you.