Makeover Day

When we first found out mom was going to lose her hair it was the least of our worries. Mom thinks it might have been easier for her if she had just lost it all at once like most chemo patients do. Instead, she has lost it slowly over a period of 5 months. I thought this was a good thing, it gave her plenty of time to adjust. But on the contrary, hanging on to her hair this long gave her a false hope that she might not lose it after all. Though these last two treatments did not shrink the cancer, they did wipe out almost all of what was left of mom's hair. The woman who has been surprisingly okay with her hair loss, has been emotional the last couple of weeks watching the bald spots grow and the hair on her pillow increase. I won't lie and tell you it's been easy for us kids to watch. My mom has always had a beautiful, silky thick head of hair that most would envy. I remember, she would yell from the bathroom "Nik!, Come do somethin' with my hair!" I would go into the bathroom and while I fixed her hair we would laugh and talk and gossip. It has been a special everyday bonding moment since I was an early teen. Our trips to the salon were priceless. When I think about all those times it makes me sad. I know there are bigger issues at hand than hair loss, but we women are superficial. Well, men are too. Men LOVE long hair and women like to hide behind their luscious locks. We find our beauty and femininity in our hair. It's just been instilled in us.


Mom's hair was kind of blotchy, so we talked her into going to see our FAVORITE stylist, Daniel Wood @ The Hair After to kind of even it out.

We were hoping this would be up-lifting for her. Most trips to the salon are. unfortunately she was unusually quiet and sad faced the whole time.

I know my mom. And I knew this was very difficult for her. She didn't say so right away, but she didn't have to.

Daniel did a great job. She looked so much better! As we were leaving the salon Neva said "Gammy, you look like a man!" Of course mom laughed it off. But I know it hurt. I stuck my head in her car before she left and I said "mom you look pretty", she responded with a trembling lip and teary eyes "I don't feel pretty". Then she and Amber drove away. I sat in the parking lot of the salon for a while, then walked back in with my own trembling lip and teary eyes. Later Neva told me that Gammy was pretty. She has timing like her mommy.

You can't (in good conscience) tell someone "you don't need hair to feel pretty", when you,yourself have hair halfway down your back.

Kiss that stuff goodbye, baby!

No fear. Just excited to show mom her gift.

to the person that receives my hair (I donated it): sorry about the frizz......

My Sister in Law, Amber, recommended that I keep this mullet look. Luckily, Daniel kept cutting.

When I walked in her house to surprise her, this is what greeted me.....Felt good to see that big ole smile after all those tears a few hours earlier.

I had been crying a bit....But didn't Daniel do a good job? He truly is talented. AND soft hearted! He has been wonderful to my mom through her illness! When I got home, Neva said "Mama you look like a man!" then she said "You look like Gammy!" Then she said "You look like Aunt Sharon!" And lastly, (with her mommy's lack of timing once again), she said "Mama, you look pretty!" Bad timing or not...I'll take it!

She kept saying "I love it!!" over and over. She also said "You didn't have to do this for me!"

But I DID have to do it. And I'd do it over and over again to see that smile....

She later told me that was the most precious gift anyone had ever given her. I just wanted her to understand how incredibly beautiful she is. Her hair did not define her beauty....Just her being "Brenda" makes her beautiful. A woman of integrity, strength, full of love and light that inspires me and everyone she meets every day. She doesn't need hair. She just needs that heart of hers.

 I want my mom to know that we are in this TOGETHER. I'm behind her 100%, and I will be here every step of the way. I will wipe her tears or cry with her. I will hold her tight when her body hurts. I will pray with her when she is scared. She WILL NOT fight alone.