Ode to Old Fella'

During chemo this week, my mom met Old Fella'. He was a cancer patient in his mid 80's. His wife told mom the story of their lives (as elders often do). It seems they were both previously married. Her husband was diagnosed with lung cancer and passed away. She went 20 years alone. Then she prayed to God "If there is a decent man out there, send him to me". It wasn't very long before she met Old Fella. They courted for four years before getting married about a year ago. She said he was very independent. He worked everyday and took care of her and their place. Recently, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He also has diabetes and heart problems as well. His heart problems threaten his life without surgery, but his body is too weak from the chemo to undergo a surgery. My mama said nurse after nurse came in the room to console him as he received the poison into his body.  He was crying uncontrollably. He was hurting. He was sick. Finally the Dr. walked in and sympathetically gave him a couple choices. She told him he could quit the chemo or keep going. He decided to keep going. Mama told me the tears continued to stream down his face as he pushed through his chemo day. Right beside Old Fella' was his newly wed wife. Holding his hand and gazing helplessly upon the love she had prayed so hard for.

As Americans, or possibly even humans, we are born with a "grass is always greener" mentality. It's innate. Sure it may pick and choose the times that it presents itself, but it's there for all of us. Maybe at a restaurant we look across the table and think "why didn't I order that?!?!", or you see a person with freedom in their job as you rush back from your 30 minute lunch break. Perhaps you wish your spouse did this or that, because you caught a glimpse of someone else's putting on a show. Whatever the case may be, it's in us.
I have been thinking about Old Fella' the last few days. I wonder where he is. I wonder if he is okay. I pray that his wife is strong enough to go through this a second time so late in life.

 I can't decide if it is more cruel for a youngster like my mom to receive such a horrible illness that threatens her numerous remaining years OR if a person that has lived a full life and is now frail and weakened by age to have to muster up the nonexistent strength to fight off this predator. I have been so upset about mama that I have let my ugly "grass is always greener" side take over. I have felt jealousy and anger. I look at others with their healthy mom's and envy them. The truth is, my grass is pretty green. My mama is young and strong and beautiful. She has it in her to fight and defeat this disease. She is up for the challenge. Her spirit is strong and indestructible. When she walked out of her treatment that day, she told me the story of Old Fella'. She was emotionally affected by his story. Then she said something. These lines struck a chord with me. They taught me to cherish my situation as it is. She said "Just when you THINK you've got it bad, you meet someone like him. Then you realize what all you have to be thankful for. It can ALWAYS be worse. I am lucky". MY MAMA thinks SHE is lucky??? "What does that make me?" I thought. But I already knew.  I decided it's time to change my way of thinking. Finally as we were leaving, she repeated the line that has brought her comfort since the FIRST day of this ordeal "My problem is big, but the Lord is bigger".  The grass just doesn't get any greener than that.