Crystal Cloudy

Something wonderfully precious to me that I had to part with a couple years ago came back into my life yesterday. Well, sort of. An offer for it to come back was put on the table. I find myself thinking about the time I spent with this "old friend". I fantasize about the things I could accomplish if we were to become "reaccquainted".

Anyway, Mom is still doing pretty good. Amber said she woke up around 3:00 this morning to the sound of mom coughing horrifically. I assume that is why it's 9:30am, and my early bird mom is still in bed. I haven't actually spoken with her since last night. She sounded tired yet better when we spoke. She goes back on Friday for more bloodwork since her levels are still questionable. My Aunt Punkin (yes, Punkin) called and spoke to a gentleman at the blood bank regarding the supply amounts of blood and platelets in our area. She said it was an equally infomative and alarming conversation. Turns out, there's not an endless supply of this stuff sitting on a shelf just waiting to be used. Her wheels are turning and we are looking at planning a blood drive at some point. I will get you more details later.

I am about to head to mom's to check on her, then to get her contract (from the funeral home), then to the grocery store. I realized that we have absolutely no food in our house! We hit Walker's Dairy Bar last night, but I have no choice today. Wal-Mart it is. Also, I have a mountain of laundry (clean and dirty), a sinkful of dishes, and 2 kids that are completely intellectually understimulated and overwhelmed with appointments, drop offs and car rides. I'm going to dedicate a day to them and my house. With all of these things happening and other things falling at the wayside, I am actually considering taking on my "old friend"?? My mom is ALL FOR IT. She is so proud that the offer is out there and feels like I need a distraction from our situation.
The thing is, this friend is a bit needy and high maintenance. To call myself a "GOOD friend", I would need to be very dedicated and give 100% of me. I am afraid there is not enough of me to go around.

 I typically regret everything. Yes, I am that person that never really knows if I have made the right decision. So I ask myself "would I rather regret a missed opportunity to reconnect with something I used to hold so dear, or lost quality time with my mom?". My answer is clear, yet difficult.