Thoughts Will Break Your Heart

There are so many thoughts that enter my mind that make me cry. I usually share those thoughts with you. When those thoughts creep into my mind, as they do so very frequently, I HAVE to counter them with a positive thought. I MAKE myself think about these things, so I can sleep at night. I will share them with you as well. They are pretty random, as thoughts usually are, but they are really the thoughts that pop into my mind that eventually soothe me to sleep. Good luck........

• Why does Nori always poop on the floor? Really Nori? Every time your diaper comes off?
• Sometimes I hear a tune in Michael's snoring. I actually sing under my breath
• Food. Recipes often unfold in my mind at night and I try them the next day
• Neva called me a hippo, I am more impressed with her knowledge than disappointed in her name calling
• If I had another baby, would it be a girl? What would she look like?
• I wonder if I can still play softball
• Should I go back to work?
• If I could build my dream house tomorrow, what would it look like?
• My Papaw. He always makes me happy.
• When Nori starts babbling, what is she saying? It seems important
• Sometimes I am looking dead at Michael when he is talking and I am not listening to any of it. Does he know? I really got to stop that
• How can I lose this weight?
• Will Nori and Neva be friends? Will they be athletic? Will they be book worms?
• Maybe I should start an herb garden
• I hope I open that preschool I have been dreaming about for years. It's truly my passion
• Should I put Neva in preschool? I think I teach her pretty well. We have gymnastics and the library for social interaction
• Why does my mom call it "dia-rear"?
• and "BRAK-fast"
• and "WrAstlers"
• and "ciga-RATTES"
• I really need to repaint this whole trailer. The last paint job was obviously done blindfolded (I did it)
• I would love to write a children's book, or at least get one of the one's I've already written published
• Will I ever wear a bikini again? ew. I cant do that to innocent bystanders
• How come no one talks about sagging body parts when they tell you the joys of parenthood/breastfeeding?
• I wonder what Heaven looks like
• Why am I the only living human without a facebook page? Why doesn't this bother me at all?
• I hope I leave the country sometime in my life
• I want to learn Spanish. I want my girls to speak Spanish!
• Could we start a family band? Kind of like the Partridge Family. Never mind, Michael in bell bottoms is a "no-go"
• I think I want to ditch the tshirt and jeans look and be a dress wearer. Like all the stay-at-home-moms in black and white on TV. Michael could come home to a clean house and meatloaf. Never mind. Meatloaf is yucky
• The beach. I have ALMOST inherited the passionate love for the beach that my mom has (not quite as passionate as her). The thought of those waves and the cool salty breeze is incredible
• How would things be different if mama and daddy never divorced?
• How can I be a better mommy?
• Maybe me and Amber can take all the kids to McDonald's tomorrow and let them play
• I have GOT to stop letting the kids eat fast food. Even once a week is too much. The preservatives are horrible for a growing body
• I wonder if Michael and I will ever go on a date again. It has been a LONG time
• I love the movie theater. POPCORN! I can eat a large!
• Why does popcorn make my belly swell?
• I need a tan
• I wonder what this Sunday's sermon will be about
• When Nori sticks her foot up to her nose, sniffs exaggeratedly and says "STINK", how do I respond to that?
• Why does my two year old love taking medicine? She asked for it tonight when she told me she had "dia-rear" (thanks mama). Do they have rehab for Preschoolers?
• The kids use the couch as a gigantic napkin. That's it! No eating in the living room! Starting next week!

There are a few. I know, I know, I  am a little loony. But those crazy thoughts (and many more) are my distractions from the bad ones. The bad ones are so horrible. Those are the thoughts that strip you of your joy. They destroy the present with threats about the future. The one thought that gets me through those really bad nights, is:

• One day, I will rejoin any loved ones that I have lost, or may lose. We will rejoin for eternity.

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Thoughts Will Break My Heart.....IF I LET them.......