The Notebook

It's tattered and worn. There are paper bits that confetti the floor from between the spiral ring leave a trail to her whereabouts. I'm sure that it once found itself in a high school classroom receiving scribbles of notes--education related or not. It lives on her dining room table, however you will find it tucked beside her most days. She finds it very special. When you open it up and flip the pages, there are random notes that she has written herself. Sporadic phone numbers with no name beside them. But when you get a few pages in, you'll find it...............................

I'm going to talk in circles for a bit, but I have got a point, I promise.

On Thursday Mom received fluids and on Friday she received her first pint of blood. She was disgusted at the thought of receiving someone else's blood. She said "you would have thought I had to drink it, the way I was dreading it. But I feel better! So much better!" And she looked the part. Her skin looked better. SHE WAS SMILING even laughing. She actually apologized to us for her behavior. She called me and told me she was sorry about how she talked to me and how she had been treating me. She said she knew I was doing my best and she was grateful for my efforts. She said she was going to try harder regarding her eating and meds. I believe her. There was an immediate difference in her appetite, directly after her receiving blood. The lady that went several days with nothing to eat, ate grits, watermelon, tomato (yes, she bit into a tomato like an apple because "it looked too good"), vegetable soup (TWO bowls!) and banana nut bread. We are SO proud of her. The other day when we were shopping, she had picked out the perfect living room suit. She has never been able to walk in ANY store and just pick out what she wanted. Our last suit was the cheapest thing in a rent-to-own store. It was all she could afford. So, with her new mood and feeling good, we encouraged her to live a lil', do something she's never done, and go buy her dream living room suit. She did it!

I have told you about mom's living room furniture. Now, let me tell you  little about her bedroom. This is going to sound weird, but I can count on two hands, since I was twelve years old, how many times my mom has slept in her bed. She always sleeps on the couch. When we were all younger, bringing friends and dates over, we assumed that she was just being nosey. She is never one to let stuff happen in her house without her knowledge. She is in EVERYONE's business. In fact, don't text in front of her because she will ask "WHO is that? What are ya'll talking about? I hate it when ya'll text!" She can't stand it. She has got to know what's going on. Anyway, the "nosey theory" was proven wrong when we all moved out and she continued to do it. See, when I was 12, my parents got divorced. It seems she has not found herself comfortable in this room since then. She was given some "hand- me- down"  furniture several years ago. The mattresses are lumpy and the look is plain jane, but it was different  so we thought it might work. Wrong. It was still her's AND daddy's bedroom. She has always ached and hurt because of her long hours standing on a concrete floor. But with her illness, her body sometimes has excruciating aches, reminiscent of what we would call "growing pains" for our kids. I know with all my heart, that sleeping on the couch makes it worse.

THE TEXT: My sister in law called me and told about a mysterious text she had received. The person didn't know my number. When asked "who is this?" they didn't respond. They simply typed "there will be a delivery between the hrs of 10 and 12 tomorrow at Brenda's house from a friend in Christ". That was it. Since I was taking mom for her blood, Ronnie and Amber worked out a plan to be there to receive her flowers or food or whatever this sweet person was sending.

Amber called me in a panic. "Nikki, it's here!" I couldn't wait to hear how pretty the flowers were. "It's a couch and love seat!!!!" I almost fell out. Who could have done this? Oh my goodness! Someone bought my mom a living room suit!!!! I rushed to her house. She still wasn't home. Ronnie decided to pick her up, and they had not made it home yet. The suit was BEAUTIFUL and nicer than anything we have ever had in there. When she walked in, I couldn't help but tear up. She was beside herself. She was so excited. We called the furniture store trying to get a name. They had been sworn to secrecy. The ticket was in mom's name. Whoever this was, wanted NO recognition for it. Mom cried at the thought of someone caring for her so much to send her a living room suit. But now, the dilemma: From nothing to TWO living room suits. What can we do? Me and my brothers had an idea........

Last night, my mom slept in HER very own bed. In HER very own room. On HER very own comfortable brand new mattresses.

Wow. My mom, who saves and works on one room for YEARS because a lack of financial ability, got two rooms of new furniture in a week. She would NEVER have experienced this without the compassion of some wonderful people. You know who you are. Why did you do what you did? Thank you for what you gave my mom. Thank you for what you gave US. I think you know, that I am not JUST talking about furniture. We were so low. At our lowest. The whole family. AND in one day..... ONE day, everything changed. We all found ourselves laughing and happy to be together yesterday. Mom felt better. We felt better.

.........................When you get to it, you will know. The pages are front and back and almost completely out of room. They are filled with names, dates, amounts, cards, objects, prayers, etc. She has written down every person that has helped her in any way. When you scroll down the list to the very bottom, you will find "anonymous person with heart of gold". She intends to write a formal thank you and eventually pay everyone back after she is well. (She isn't one to accept help that is not in "loan" form). She walks around carrying this notebook from room to room. Updating it with every nice gesture that is given. Reminding me to update it when she doesn't feel well. This notebook is full of heart. It is full of love. Full of promise. Promise that though we have bad days, there are better days on the horizon. But most of all, it is full of hope. Hope is all we have right now. The notebook reminds us that though times are tough, we have a arms to fall into. There isn't anything better than that.