The Lady and Lil' Bit

I know that I have previously mentioned "misplaced anger", but I don't think I realized just how prevalent it was until today.

I sat there in the waiting room of the dentist. I'm pretty sure this is going to be a visit that requires follow-ups. I have had a tooth that, lets just say, "needed some attention"- but i have been putting it off (i am my mother's child). Anyway, I found myself flipping through old magazines and looking at pictures of dream kitchens and thinking to myself- "if that was my kitchen, I'd totally cook all day everyday". Before I could mentally enroll myself in culinary school, a lady and small child came into the waiting room and interrupted my thoughts. I found myself drawn to watching the little girl.She was gorgeous. She appeared to be around two yrs old. She nonchalantly pranced around. She was dressed in the cutest ladybug outfit accompanied with a bright red bow. I noticed the lady was older, so I wasn't surprised when I heard Lil Bit refer to her as "mawmaw". The wait was short and the Lady and Lil Bit were called back very quickly. I could still hear her little voice in the examination room. "Look Mawmaw!" "Mawmaw what are you doing?" "Whats that Mawmaw?" For whatever reason, the selfishness in me took over. What I, a few seconds earlier, had found cute- now had me very angry and sad.

This anger is tricky. It lures you in with one little thing, then EVERYTHING else comes rushing to your head and you find yourself furious. I am mad at my mom. I don't want to be, but I am. I'm mad at the Dr's and researchers. I am mad at the tobacco companies. I'm mad at the "If it was me, I would quit smoking NO PROBLEM" people. I'm mad at the "Let me tell you what you need to do" family members. I'm mad at the "I know a guy that got cancer and never smoked a day in his life" enablers. I'm mad at my kids because they expect mommy to be the same way she was a month ago. I'm mad at my husband because he he still needs clean clothes and supper. And just now, as I find out that I need a root canal,  I am MAD at the Lady and lil bit.

Why? WHY????? Will that ever be MY mom and MY kids? Will she ever be able to take my kids to the dentist with HER? My pity party of negative thoughts was broke up by the realization of what I was ACTUALLY thinking. NO ONE takes a two year old to the dentist with them, unless it's out of necessity. Perhaps there is a whole story behind these two that I know nothing about. Maybe it's sad. Maybe not. What if the Lady, is ALL that Lil Bit has?

I found myself not mad anymore (for the moment). I was anxious to get to home to my mom (who actually felt good enough to babysit for me) and my girls. I had an uncontrollable urge to hug them. All 3 of them. And, I actually felt something I have not felt in about a month. I felt thankful. I have my mom TODAY. She feels good TODAY. My girls have the best grandmother ever, TODAY.

Thank you to the Lady and Lil Bit. I may never know your story, but you brightened my day.