A Day In Reverse

Tonight:
I made a big ole' pot of taco soup. Michael is not a big soup guy, so I usually get to craving it really good before I actually cook it. It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. I spoke to mama on the phone and she was still exhausted. She had been asleep practically since lunch, only waking up when I called. She didn't talk long before she let me go to return to her slumber. The fatigue has got her pretty good. After she let me go and we had supper I snuck off to take a shower. For whatever reason, I broke down horribly in the shower. I cried for the better part of 30 min, before sitting down to type this quick blog. Sometimes writing helps me. I don't even know where it came from. A build up of everything I guess. The main thing, my mind's obsession with reminding me of what could be. The storm came and passed. I survived. There is a lifetime more to come. I better find that umbrella.

Afternoon:
I decided I wanted a pot of soup to commemorate the yucky weather we have been having. I realized I needed a few things so I loaded up the kids and headed to the big town of Sandersville. First stop: Bob's. My go-to hamburger meat stop. It was still sprinkling and OF COURSE, I have everything in the car EXCEPT an umbrella. If we had needed old goldfish crackers or dried up french fries, I have an abundance. But no umbrella to be found. No doubt Neva and Nori have kicked off their shoes before we make it 6 miles from the house. So I begin to put shoes on, while standing in the rain. Then we head inside. The place was PACKED! I gathered what I needed while they gathered what they "needed". Neva finally gets it, the fact that you have to pay before you can eat. But Nori? No! She wants her chocolate opened NOW and there is no waiting. Well, I always refuse to give in and this always results in a meltdown. I generally just let her go. I know what people are thinking. I am kind of thinking it too. But I let her go. She was flat on the floor at one point and I could hear the thoughts in the room. "Open the chocolate!" "That child needs discipline!" "If that was my kid, I'd......".  Once it is paid for, I IMMEDIATELY open the chocolate. I was strong. I made it. Next stop: Dollar General, to get everything that Bob's doesn't carry. OF COURSE, Neva and Nori kicked their shoes off.....AGAIN. After I put shoes on, I grab a card and the kids and head inside. No Purse. This place was equally packed. We spend about 10 min gathering up stuff and I allowed Neva to get a box of Dora The Explorer Gummy Candies. This is a little out of character for me. I don't usually let them get something TWO stores in a row. But I was feeling generous I guess (and I kind of wanted some gummies too!). Anyway TEN more min later we make it to the register. I swipe my card and it said "declined". I was certain it was their mistake. This has happened to me before and it was their machine. So he swiped it again. "declined". Well, I decided that I would wait in the other line, because obviously his machine was broken. TEN min later, I make it to the other register. I swiped and it said "declined". Wow. I know there is money on this card. But I have been on the other side of the counter when people blamed the machine. I always thought "RRRIIIIIIIIGGGHHHTTT, its the MACHINE. MMMMM HHHHMMMMM". So I knew there was nothing I could say. I had to walk ALL the way to the car WITH the kids to get some cash. The whole time the kids were screaming "MY GUMMIES! I WANT MY GUMMIES" like they had not had a meal in days. I don't know what was more embarrassing, the declined card or the starving children in tow. TEN min later, I paid and we left. The card is fine. It WAS their machine. It hates me and my card. I called mama and she was just waking up, again. She laughed at my story, though I was almost in tears. She actually laughed alot. When we got home I sat under the carport and watched the rain. The storm was inevitable with all the clouds I guess.

Today:
Mom had Ronnie to bring her to meet us at the park. She looked good walking from the truck to the park bench where I was sitting. She was smiling and seemed energetic. We watched as Ronnie pushed the kids on the swings. The kids took turns showing off their sliding skills, then we decided it was time to go pick up lunch. I had ordered pizza and calzones from Pasquale's. We grabbed our food and a couple drinks out of the machine then headed back to the park. Mom ate good! She said she had never had a calzone before. I love those things! The kids munched on pepperoni pizza. Neva always picks off the pepperoni because "It's spicy". Then we played for a while. I was worried about mama because she was trying to make every step that we made. It was ALOT of steps. I kept looking at her. She was smiling and laughing. Playing with the kids. I know her body hurts. I know she is tired. I've said it, I'll say it again, and no one will convince me otherwise: MY MAMA IS TOUGH. And she just so happens to be the best person I've ever met. I tried to read her body language and when I knew she had had enough, I rounded up the kids and we left. She stayed facing backwards the whole way home, singing and tickling the kids. They giggled the whole way to her house. We all hugged, kissed, said our "I love you's", then went our separate ways. It was nap time. For the girls. For mama as well. I drove home in the rain. Once we were home, it began to storm.

Morning:
I am NOT making biscuits this morning! Cheese toast it is! I spoke with the girls and we decided to take advantage of this cloudy day and go to the park. They were VERY excited so I called mom to check on her, told her about our plans and began to get ready. Looks like a storm's coming. But, I think it's going to be a good day today.