I remember like it was yesterday, the first day my mom began chemo. It was the day we first heard her expected "time line". We found out that statistically my mom would not have long to live AND she would need to begin chemo immediately all in one sitting. It was a devastating blow. Definitely a horrible day that is burned into my memory forever. Mama was in horrible shape. Unable to get a full breath of air. Unable to finish a sentence without being winded. She was exhausted and scared and completely lost. The news hit her harder than anyone. I've never seen her cry so hard. My big brother cried in his hands. I sat on the clinic floor silently, and watched my own tears pool up beneath me. I have never been so hurt. I have never been so scared. Our life was over, or so it felt that way. I wondered if I would EVER get my healthy, happy and vibrant mom back. On top of everything, my mom would (on this SAME horrible day) be receiving chemo. "Chemo?" What is this mysterious stuff that I have heard about on tv? The characters in movies that receive chemo get very sick. They vomit. They sleep. They cry. They change. They slip away. Will my mom do this? I envisioned liquid fire shooting through an IV and destroying my moms body. My mama cried in fear of the chemo. We reassured her, though we were equally scared. We all hesitantly drove to the hospital that day. I looked into the eyes of strangers that would be caring for my mom, and wondered if they were "good enough". Our stomachs were in knots. She sat scared, silent and uncomfortable as the medicine pumped through her veins for the very first time.
Through 6 cycles there were countless ups and downs, but we did get mom back. She could breathe again. She could play again. She had her smile back. It was wonderful. We soaked up all the moments, tried new things, had much needed conversations, hugged and kissed countless times and took advantage of every little bit of energy she could muster up. We learned to take one day at a time, though sometimes we (still) need reminding of that. Things were pretty great. But things didn't stay great forever, as all of you know. Radiation took it's toll, to say the least. Luckily, the effects of the radiation are slowly wearing off. Unfortuanately, without even a week's break, mom started her new chemo today. I have to admit, while I dreaded it, I was SO thankful that I didn't have to relive that very first chemo day. My, how things have changed. Today we greeted all the nurses by their first names. We laughed and talked. I brought mom some grits ( and she actually ATE!). She sat relaxed in her comfy recliner and received the medicine that (we believe) will make her a healthy person again. She even took a little nap. Today was the best day we have had in weeks. I just hope this new chemo allows her to stay this way for a while.
Don't she look pretty?
I couldn't be there the WHOLE time, but the kids and I hung out in town to make sure mom didn't have any kind of reaction to the new chemo. We spent most of the morning at the library.
Yes, I did brush her hair......
Some of the marker did end up on the paper, not JUST the table......
My babies are so smart.....
Can you believe this? Those of you that have been reading, when was the last time you read about my mom chasing my girls around the yard? Now, I am telling you, that radiation is some BAD stuff! She has been done for a week, and we are already starting to see glimpses of the mom we know and love. She wasn't 100%, but we had our mom/Gammy back today. It was great. I don't know how long it will last, but I am not complaining one bit. Check out the smiles on those little faces!
Some of you may be looking at that beautiful bald head. Others may be looking at the chili dog she is eating, and wondering why she is drinking MILK with it....(she always drinks milk with chili---EW).....Me? I am looking at that skinny thing actually eating! She ate a WHOLE chili dog and a pumpkin cupcake
and drank a glass of milk!!!!! This is incredible for a person that went days without eating ANYthing just over a week ago. 
There is mom with her little baby...
If you look closely at my moms neck/chest, you will see her skin peeling off. This is hurtful to look at, but mom says it actually doesn't hurt. The radiation really did a number on her--inside AND out. I am SO glad that it is over and I have my mom back. Meanwhile, if you look closely at me, you will see a huge belly and dish water on my shirt.
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