Married With Children

 My husband, Michael, single handedly runs the family business, Shipley Donuts, here in Laurel. His clock goes off at 3am, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year (minus a couple holidays). He doesn't stand and supervise with hands on hips. He goes in to the shop, makes homemade dough, rolls it out and cuts donuts by hand that he cooks himself... Sound like a dream job? Parts of it are sweet! Being there when the hot donut is dipped in the melted glaze and praying you get a break to down one before they cool off, is pretty awesome... But anyone who wakes up that early every morning knows that you don't catch up on rest, EVER. And standing in a hot kitchen hunched over a table on a concrete floor 12+ hours isn't great on your body. The minute he finishes in the donut kitchen, it's time to start cooking lunch....Hand pattying burgers, cutting up fresh potatoes for fries, homemade chili and gravy and cutting up veggies, stocking and prepping etc. This guy is a stickler for putting out a quality product and really takes pride in his work. Typically, he does not sit down or get a break between donuts and burgers, and if he does, it isn't for long. He deals with the never ending mental pressures of running a business as well: hiring/firing, scheduling, call ins, bill paying, payroll, and any drama that may arise. If you run a business, that part never goes away. You are always "on".  Upon his arrival at home, (typically around 3:30 or 4pm) we hug and kiss, and he loves on the kids. We share for just a moment about how the day has been for each of us. But his "visit" is short lived before he runs out to work on the farm till the daylight is gone. I truly do feel like he might be a workaholic. He literally cannot relax unless he is asleep, (which is pretty much anytime he gets still). This lifestyle is hard on both of us, in different ways. But I do admire his work ethic. And I am grateful for it. His dedication to providing for our family gives me the ability to stay home and raise our children---something I thought I'd never do-- but now can't picture my life any other way. He tries so hard to be everywhere, and to do everything for everyone.... and for the most part, he succeeds. But to be honest, I miss him, just so incredibly much.

The last few days, filled with errands, and running, and work and kid chaos, have seemingly escaped us without warning. There have been sweet moments daily where we hugged tight in the kitchen  as I cooked or washed dishes and he was passing through to change from donut shop gear to farm wear. There have been some stolen kisses here and there and some "I love you" texts between the honey do's and don'ts. But no real quality time lately. When he ran in this afternoon and changed into his overalls, we talked about how much we miss each other... and assured one another we'd spend some quality time together this evening, talking and catching up, while the kids watched a movie in their room. He quickly went outside and worked on the barn while I pulled the lil red wagon up and down our driveway a hundred thousand times, cooked supper, bathed the girls, did two loads of our laundry and one load of donut shop laundry, took care of one lil sickly kiddo and changed two diapers and broke up 10,000 arguments. My patience was wearing thin, and I was looking forward to some quiet time and some adult conversation. He came in well after 7:00 looking exhausted but putting on a silly face for the kids, who all but tackled him at the door. He cant get within Maxx's line of vision without her demanding that he pick her up.  He obliged, gave her several kisses with her giggling and wrinkling up her little nose because of his tickly beard. Then he quickly headed to wash up and get changed. I had his plate fixed for him and he sat down to eat while the kids lounged in the living room watching Thomas the Train. Despite constant interruptions from the kids trying to squeeze every ounce of attention out of him, we spoke about a few things: of course our baby Neva that is not feeling good today and we're both worried about her.... my needing to mail in my old broken cell phone TOMORROW so that we don't have to pay additional fees....... staircase spindles.......and our shared sympathy for a sweet mutual old friend that lost her mom..... After he ate, he called Neva over to him. She had been so quiet and still and tired acting... Completely unlike herself. She climbed on him, with her blanket in hand. She covered them both up. I heard "are you okay, baby?" then a soft "Yes sir". I heard a sweet daddy kiss. I proceeded to put Maxx to bed and was straightening up the kitchen table when I looked in the living room and realized our quality time may have to wait one more day. I've just been in there for a while now watching him sleep on the couch. Neva has been feverish and pitiful, and for the first time in over 24 hours, she seems completely comfortable with her head on his chest...her mouth is slightly open and she is resting sound. His quiet snore is probably offering a slightly comforting vibration that she finds soothing. My heart skipped as I watched them.

Now that my Nori and Mili are both resting for the night as well, I have had a moment to sit and think. These moments are rare and are usually clouded by sleep deprivation or a constant mental to-do list. But for the time being, I have clarity.....I sat in the living room for a while just thinking. I love when it hits you all at once how incredibly blessed you are. I felt overwhelmed... but in a good way. A great way. I took a deep breath. Then I smiled. The truth is, I don't think I could ever get enough of his time. I might never find that perfect amount that is just enough. I'd rather hang out with him than ANY one else in the world. He's funny, and thoughtful and caring, and to me, they just don't get any more handsome.  He is such a manly man....but he can tune into his daughters' feelings and be as sensitive as can be. I can be in my pajamas from the night before, without a drop of makeup and a rats nest of a hairdo and he will tell me I look pretty...and he really means it, I can see it in his poor sheltered eyes! I love the way our girls look at him, but more than that, the we he looks at them. I love that, even though its harder to make it happen now, we both still want to spend time together. Why God saw it fit to put us together, I'll never know. It was definitely an unlikely match. But, I could thank God every moment of every day, for the rest of my life and it wouldn't be near enough. I am so unbelievably grateful for him and our daughters and our beautiful, unique, hilarious, at times overly dramatic, completely chaotic life.

As I made my rounds tonight and pulled all the blankets tight around the loves of my life I couldn't help but think, how could time get any more quality than this?