Why Can't I Post Pics?

So, can I just talk about the last few days?

I have full intentions of catching everyone up with some photos, but for whatever reason, my blog won't let me upload them. I am working on it.

Jan 1st:
The day for new beginnings and realization and enlightenment......AND the day for Neva to fall at Ronnie's house and hit her front teeth on the table. Not just a little hit. A HUGE hit. I was pretty sure her tooth was loose, but I refused to embrace that thought. That thought broke my heart. Those baby teeth are precious and I am not ready to turn aloose yet. We get home, and my face was still stained with tears from Neva's big fall, when I accidentally came across a red spot on Nori's tummy. When I lift her shirt, she is covered. At first, before the rash spread ALL over, I thought it was bites of some sort. I asked "Nori! What bit you?!?!" With a super dramatic face she informed me of the culprit: "A tiger did it". Where is this tiger that bites her like every day? When I get my hands on him.....It's not going to be good. Anyway, It looked a little like roseola. But, our pediatrician ( who made the mistake of calling me from her cell once, so I immediately saved her number and I always bombard her with off the clock questions) was my hero. Modern technology allowed me to send her a pic of the rash. She diagnosed it as "whelps" via text message, and assured me it wasn't a big deal. I cried a little more. Actually, a LOT more.

Jan 2nd:
 I took Neva to the dentist  (after I cried all night) and found out one of the front ones is definitely fractured. He said one of two things will happen: Either it will fall out, or it won't. I've been watching, crying, brushing softly, watching, cutting up food, crying, reminding to chew with back teeth, watching, crying, watching, brushing softly, reminding to stop moving it with tongue, watching...And sadly, it's starting to discolor.

Jan 4th:
I started the low carb diet and committed to start going to the gym again. I have only cheated on my diet once.... And as of right now, I have lost ONE pound. Everything in me wants to eat that entire box of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer.

Jan 5th:
Neva got a booster seat and Mili got her old forward facing car seat. I was excited until I realized that now NONE of my kids can buckle themselves. Used to, Neva could buckle herself. That doesn't sound like much, but it really helped out a lot! I was literally excited to make my life more difficult. Typical me. Anyway, on this day also, lil Miss Mili decided to start pulling up. Now she works on this skill day and night. She will pull up on a leg, a bag of garbage, her high chair, the toilet, and sometimes, just sometimes, she uses the furniture.

Jan 6th:
The kids start this "I'm never going to sleep" campaign. During this span of time (it's still going), I have worked diligently to get them to sleep at nap time and they refuse. They just lay there. They will lay there forever giggling, talking and warning each other with a "SHHH!" when they hear my footsteps. MY ONLY ALONE TIME, (late at night when my insomnia won't let me sleep),  has been infiltrated as well. On this particular night, around 11:00pm or so, I was in the recliner and Neva would come down the hall and say something random like "I really love you Mama." or "You are so beautiful".....And I would snap "thank you, love you, go to bed" (I know it sounds mean, but this is my ONLY alone time). Finally, after really thinking hard about a line that would gain her freedom  from the prison that is her bedroom, she came out with big guns blazing: "Don't get mad Mama. I'm going back to bed. I just want to tell you what you are first.....you are a beautiful angel, rainbow, flower, unicorn, ladybug, and I love you". She stood there waiting on her pardon.....I responded " I love you too sweetheart! That was so sweet!.............Now go to bed".

Jan 7th:
Tanya and Melissa had lunch with me and the girls at Mi Casitas and I DIDN'T break the diet! IT was GREAT to see them. Later on Neva told me " Mama I love you all the way to the sky, the clouds, the moon, the planets, the galaxies, to Heaven with Jesus and Gammy. I responded "WOW! that's a lot of love!"......Then Nori, trying to one-up her sister said "Mama, I love you ALL the way to wal-mart". I laughed and said "Wow! that's pretty far too!". That night, my life changed forever. Michael put in the dishwasher that his parents got us for Christmas. I cried tears of joy.

Jan 8th:
Nori asked me if she could teach Mili to eat corn on the cob. We were not having corn that night so I found the question odd. I have learned in my limited time parenting that if a question sounds weird, just say "no". So I did. That night, Michael, Me and the two older girls had a blast playing Pop The Pig and Hungry Hungry Hippos. It's fun to get on their level. Or them on ours....Not sure.

Jan 10th:
Michael's 29th birthday. I worked all day to make him a huge pot of gumbo, a pan of rice, and a homemade red velvet cake with home made cream cheese icing. The kids made him some art work that was SO precious and he got a simple movie from me. After all that hard work, I got good reviews on the cake. But I decided to myself that there has never been a cake that ugly...ever.

Jan 11th:
I took Nori to the dr for what I thought was an ear infection. She had been tugging non stop and complaining on and off for a couple weeks. It was eczema in her ear canal. It's itchy and has been making her poor little ears so uncomfortable. The drops they prescribed have been little miracle workers. Later on, I made another red velvet cake for a friend.....It was uglier than the ugliest one ever that I made the day before.

Jan 12th:
My big baby Neva got signed up for Spring soccer! I'm not sure if she even knew what it was until Michael came home with a ball and started working with her. She seems like a natural. I am SO excited about her playing a team sport. Sports have always been a big part of my life and I would love if my kids followed suit. Neva's still doing gymnastics, and she is great at it. But, it won't produce an event anytime soon so that she can show off her hard work. Nori's dance class has occasional recitals. I like the idea of soccer offering Neva the opportunity, not only to learn to work with others, exercise, and gain physical abilities, but also to show off her skills and be that center of attention that Nori is on her recital days. I know, I know...I'm totally over thinking it.
Later we had lunch at Ronnie's and the kids watched Alice in Wonderland...And Ronnie did too. The animated one.
On this night, I went to Michael's deer camp's annual fish fry. This is the one time I have broke my diet. It was SOOOO worth it. The kids ran around outside because it felt like summer time. It was drizzling a little bit, but that made it more fun. Of course, the next day is when I started seeing some cold type symptoms in Nori.

Jan 14:
Nori wakes up burning up with fever and barking a nasty sounding cough. I took her to the doctor and found out she had strep throat. When I left I went by the cemetery (like always), then I headed down Lower Myrick road to go on home. Everyday I pass by David's, (mom's old job) and I yearn to go in. That place is home to me. It was home to her. And though I have been there a lot after she got sick, and a few times since she's been gone, it is still REALLY hard to stop. Walking in those doors is like a time warp into a beautiful time in my life....But there is one very prevalent part missing.....She's not there. She's not behind the counter encouraging the girls to get "what ever they want", even though I said "no candy". She's not behind the grill, stressed out and frazzled--but still smiling and waving at us eating a delicious David's cheeseburger in the dining room. She's not standing out front by the paper machine grabbing one of her 5 second breaks (Mom never took long breaks. She was TOOOO hyper). She's not there, and it makes my time warp a confusing one. That time can't exist without her. David's can't exist without her. Then I have to remind myself that this is today. And she is gone. And David's is still here. It is so painful, I usually leave with my heart broken. The girls often ask me to stop at "Gammy's old store". But I always have an excuse to just pass by. On this day, I stopped. When I pulled in the parking lot, Neva brought about the realization that I haven't been fooling them with my excuses. As we parked she said "Mama, if you go in here you are going to get sad because Gammy is not here". She's too smart. I didn't deny it. We went in and it looked a little different, yet still the same. It was still home. I started to warp....But, I kept trying to keep my heart and mind in the moment, and not in the past. Neva definitely warped. She was two years old the last time she ran full speed though that dining room into the kitchen and dove into her Gammy's arms. But she did it again the other day.... 2 years later. I couldn't stop her. It's like instinct took over. She stopped herself when she saw a different face behind the grill. She stopped and looked at her Gammy's former coworker.. Then she said solemnly,(as if she just remembered Gammy was now in Heaven) "My Gammy USED to work here". Then, she walked calmly to the store side. I was worried about her. So I used a familiar line "y'all get whatever you want". The somberness soon exploded into excitement as the inviting candy aisles of David's Grocery taunted my kids. They taunted until the girls (just like old times) were running up and down each aisle looking for the perfect snack. I talked to everyone. I hugged most all of the staff and I hugged Ms. Sharon twice. She feels like home too. When I looked over at the meat counter filled with the best looking meat in Jones county, I couldn't help but notice that two pictures of my mom adorned the top. She is smiling and healthy and the background reveals that she is on duty at her second home. I was drawn to them. I love to see pictures of her healthy like that. The kids giggling and running came up behind me and stopped. They saw the pictures and excitedly yelled "GAMMY!" My heart skipped a beat. In that moment Ms. Sharon came walking through. Nori told her "That picture is about my Gammy". Ms. Sharon knelt down. She looked at both girls sweetly, and said "Yes, that picture is about your Gammy. Your Gammy was an important part of this store. As long as David's is here, your Gammy will be a part of it". My heart swole. Listening to her words intently, Neva inched closer and closer, then gave her a hug. I am not sure if she understood, or if she just remembers that was Gammy's friend, but she seemed to become emotional as she listened to Ms. Sharon talk. I literally had to force her off of her lap. We soon left and I'll admit, I was a little sad. But I decided I would make an effort to get in there more often. I miss that place so much. You really shouldn't stay away from home like that.

Jan 15:
My Father in Law hosted the Home Owner's Association meeting and Michael decided to join. So, I made (once again) a big pot of gumbo for all the people at the meeting. I didn't go to the meeting. They probably would not have accomplished much with my girls swinging from the light fixtures. Instead, I stayed home with my ill baby Mili (who is teething), my sick toddler, and my wild Neva. I also tried one of the frozen Atkin's dinners on this night. It was pretty good. I just needed a couple more to fill me up.

Jan16:
I started baking cupcakes for dessert at Church. I literally baked 70 cupcakes. I was so excited for everyone to get a helping of my dessert and there possibly even be enough for seconds. Then since Mili was asleep, I jumped in the shower. When I got out, I put the big kids in the tub. We were on the right track to making it to church on time. All in the next 3 minutes: Someone knocked on the door--so I panicked to get dressed and open it. It was my mother in law. Before I could run from the door back to the big girls in the tub,  I heard the baby's voice in her room. She was making a weird whining sound. She sounded hoarse so I darted in and discovered she was BURNING up with fever. I jerked her up and ran past my mother in law, back toward the tub so I could put her in and try to get her fever down. That's when I noticed that someone had pooped in the tub. An hour later, I had cleaned the poop, cleaned the kids, dropped off the cupcakes at church, ran to dollar general for infant ibuprofen and returned home to cry into my hands.

Jan 17:
It snowed! My kids were too sick and cold to be really enthused. I took Mili to the dr on this day and found out that she, too, had strep. I secretly patted myself on the back. I don't know if I actually had a hand in it, but I gave myself credit anyway...See, Mili has NEVER been to the dr for illness. She is almost a year old and she's only ever had one or two doses of pedia-care (infant tylenol). That's why I didn't have much fever reducer in the house. She's never needed it! My little nephew, Brady wasn't doing good on this day. My SIL took him to the dr a couple different times, and finally discovered he had walking pneumonia. At one point he was taking a breathing treatment every 30 minutes! We were all very worried. That night, Neva started running fever.

Jan 18th:
When I called the clinic for the third time in one week, and the fourth time in just over a week, I had to laugh as I scheduled the appointment. I LOVE Laurel Pediatrics. They are AWESOME. They actually laughed with me. Neva too, has strep. On a lighter note, Brady has started doing alot better.

When you really dissect it like that, isn't life great?  Whether my little one is fretting because she is getting her baby teeth, or my beautiful daughter is prematurely losing her first baby tooth, or Nori is laying on the floor in an attempt to get her way--I am happy. In five minutes we will all be giggling together about something goofy, or having one of Michael's famous pillow fights, or a tickle fest.....You can't, in good conscience, take all those countless wonderful moments, without embracing and being thankful for the crazy ones too. I am thankful for EACH moment I get.