I always thought that I was destined for something great. I never voiced it aloud, but something deep inside me always felt special, set apart, and reserved for a bright future.
When I was younger, I blended in with the crowd. There was nothing special about my appearance. In fact, some that were standing along side me were taller, stronger, brighter, more attractive and more productive. In a sea of faces just like mine, there was no outward characteristic that drew any eyes specifically to me. I was overlooked by the world. Ignored. Passed up. I would often see those around me chosen and I would wonder "why not me? When will my day come?"
Years and years went by, and most everyone I grew up with had gone on to do different things with their lives. Some built homes and supported families. Others built businesses and various successful ventures. There were even a few that kept company with criminals. I heard story after story of the fate of my friends and kin, and good or bad-- I was envious of their lives. I looked at how little I had accomplished in my life and it was devastating. I've always stood as tall as I could. I've always tried my hardest. Why am I not good enough to have a story of my own?
The years trickled by, and in more and more ways, I felt so alone. I was way out in the middle of nowhere-- drowning in a sea of loneliness and desperation. I had all but given up. So when those intimidators showed up to kick me when I was down, I let them have their way. They beat me and cut me down. I did not have the strength to fight back, so I accepted my fate at the hands of these evil doers. I fell to the ground with a thunderous roar. They didn't stop there. Once I was down they destroyed me limb by limb.
This was my lowest point in more ways than one. Lying there in a pile of rubble that once was "me", I cried. I cried and cried and cried. The pain was unbearable! The devastation! The disappointment! A lifetime wasted! I yelled out to the heavens and begged for forgiveness for the failure that was me. Then I blacked out from the excruciating sting in my heart.
When I awoke, something was happening...
It was hard to make out, but Someone was carrying me. There were crowds gathered on either side and some were yelling angrily and chanting obscenities and others were crying and praying aloud. I noticed the Man that was carrying me, He was covered in blood and He seemed to be in pain. He had His arms wrapped around me tight and He refused to let me go. I wondered to myself what was driving Him.... What internal force pushed Him to keep putting one foot in front of the other? That same driving force that is allowing Him to support the burden of my weight even with His body in such physical despair. I had never seen this Man, but I knew this Man. Something deep inside, a feeling I can't quite explain, revealed to me that this was the natural order of things...
I felt that this Man was always intended to relieve me of myself, and embrace me, and carry me.
When we reached our destination, I was laid upon the ground. The same hard hearts that had torn me apart, laid my Carrier upon me. His body was exhausted and it draped over me. Then, nail by nail, He and I became one. I felt His blood saturate me. It was a feeling like no other. His blood covered me and wrapped around my heart and soul.
Then, together, we were stood up to face the ugly world. His body was hanging on what was left of my branches. His physical strength was gone... But I could feel His spirit inside me. With His remaining strength, He called out to His Father:
"It is done".
And then that Man, that is like no other, breathed His last.
I was mourning for this carrier of mine, this lover of me, this savior of my heart...
Then suddenly, an old familiar feeling made its way back into my heart.
A feeling that the world had stripped from me over a lifetime of pain and loneliness.
A feeling that, I now know, came from this man all along...
I know that I AM special... I know that I AM set apart... And I know that I AM chosen...
My unique story unfolded in just the way it was supposed to.
After a lifetime of searching, I have realized my destiny...
See, I really was made for greatness...
I was made to bear Jesus for the world to see.
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