Chosen

As the sun continues to rise morning after morning and illuminate my walk with Christ that is now around five years long, I've noticed a pattern.... While most of my time is dedicated to growing in my relationship with Him, there are periodic windows where I am stagnant. And though I prefer to be growing, the stagnant periods persist and roll around like clockwork. I love God. I know that is a prerequisite for being a Christian. I get it. But I really, really love God. I fear Him. I respect Him. I love serving Him. I love talking to Him. I love Him talking to me. I love reading His word. I love sharing His word. I am intoxicated by Him. I crave Him.

I.

LOVE.

GOD.

Having said that, why does my behavior not always reflect this truth? Why am I not constantly fueled by the scorching faith fire that burns for God occasionally? What does it say about me, that sometimes said "fire", is better described as "fading embers"?

To further this self reflection and delve into the inner workings of my humanity verses my Christianity, I took to scripture.

What I found was interesting.....

Because Abraham proved his devotion to God, he was promised "descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky" (Genesis 26:4). Abraham's grandson, Jacob, (son of Isaac) wrestled with an angel all night (Genesis 32:24) and was renamed because he "struggled with God and with humans and overcame" (Genesis 32:28). His new name was "Israel". This is the first time that this word is mentioned in scripture. His descendants, the Israelites, were declared "God's chosen people". They dwelled in Egypt. When a new king of Egypt came into power, he found the growing number of Israelites potentially threatening. He enslaved them and ordered every newborn male Israelite to be tossed into the Nile (Exodus 1:8-22). One particular infant was hidden by his mother and discovered by the Pharaoh's daughter. She named him Moses, and raised him as her own child (Exodus 2:5-9). Overcome by oppression, the Israelites cried out to God to deliver them from slavery. God heard their cries, was concerned for them, and called upon Moses to lead them out of Egypt and to the promised land (Exodus 2:23-3:9). The Israelites witnessed God's mighty acts time and time again. Phenomenal, majestic, incredible Godly acts, they saw with their very own eyes! God parted the waters for their escape from the Egyptians (Exodus 14:21). He then manifested Himself in a cloud by day and fire by night to lead them through the wilderness (Exodus 13:21-22, Numbers 9:34-36). When they cried that the waters of Marah were bitter and undrinkable, God made the water sweet (Exodus 15:23-25). When they asked for bread, He provided flesh and manna (Exodus 16:1-15). (The miracle of the manna would continuously occur for a full forty years in the wilderness). As they moved into Rephidim, they cried out, yet again, with thirst. God instructed Moses to strike a rock, and when he obeyed, water came from it with the Israelite elders watching (Exodus 17:6). God not only worked miracles that provided food and water for them, but He protected them from their enemies. But even with visible proof of the greatness and glory of God, the Israelites turned from him time and time again. "And they have turned to Me the back, and not the face; though I taught them, rising up early and teaching them, yet they have not listened to receive instruction." (Jeremiah 32:33).

At first, I was appalled! The Israelites had the honor of being chosen by Him! They saw His miracles! I wondered how they could be so ungrateful and rebellious. God was faithful to them, but they were so distracted by the allure of false idols, sins of the flesh, and other worldly temptations in the wildreness, that they "forgot" to worship the one true God...

That sounded eerily familiar.

 I started thinking about present day distractions. With hectic schedules and lives that are lived in overdrive, it's so easy to put all of our focus on our marriages, our children, our families, our friends, jobs, homes, hobbies etc, and completely neglect the one relationship that's most important.

I am guilty of this.

When I am in need or hurting or broken I cry out to Father, and without fail, He is there again...

and again...

and again....

But the moment He mends me, I begin to "forget" my need for Him and I stray again...

and again...

and again...

How could I be so rebellious and ungrateful, when with my own eyes I have witnessed His power and His love and I have felt His presence upon me?

Just like that.... I realized

I AM AN ISRAELITE IN THE WILDERNESS.

Admitting this truth to myself was humbling, shameful, and disheartening.

But all that was replaced by sheer TERROR when I read Hebrews 3:7-11

7 Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says:

“Today, if you will hear His voice,

8 Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,

In the day of trial in the wilderness,

9 Where your fathers tested Me, tried Me,

And saw My works forty years.

10 Therefore I was angry with that generation,

And said, ‘They always go astray in theirheart,

And they have not known My ways.’

11 So I swore in My wrath,

‘They shall not enter My rest.’”

The idea that I could mistake my Father's patience for weakness, and possibly provoke Him to become angry with me.... and like the generation of Israelites in the wilderness, who's rebelliousness  forfeited them the ability to enter the promised land, I too could face God's wrath --was pure heart wrenching! The thought is truly shattering! Devastating! My lack of effort in my relationship with Christ and the steadfast devotion of Him to me rendered me guilt stricken and ashamed.

Fortunately, scripture reassures the matchless and unwavering  love of Father over and over again.

So I called out a prayer from Psalm 86:15

"But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, Longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth."

I thanked Him for being so patient with me. I asked for undeserved forgiveness and for the strength, fortitude and devotion to not become distracted from Him, who holds my very real and concrete eternity, because of worldly nonentities that will certainly crumble and scatter like grains of sand in a gust of wind. “Because All flesh is as grass, And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, And its flower falls away, But the word of the Lord endures forever.” (1 Peter 1:24)

Time to break the pattern.

I know that I must give Father all of me to fully embrace His love and the power of the Holy Spirit. This can only be done by spending time with Him, reading and sharing His word, and relentlessly and passionately praising His name.

Overcome by emotion, I decided that's EXACTLY what I am going to do to achieve the committed relationship with Christ that I so desire.

God loves me. He really, really loves me. I refuse to be lukewarm. Mere embers will not suffice. Because like the Israelites, I have the honor of being

 CHOSEN.

"For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples on the face of the earth."

Deuteronomy 7:6