When Michael and I first met he was in 8th grade and I was in 9th. For a very brief amount of time he and I talked on the phone and exchanged letters with one another (this was before texting ruled the world). We walked to class together a few times and shared awkward conversation. But he wore overalls. And had a mustache. So it was destined to fail before it began. About 4 years later we were sitting close to each other at a talent show. I was with a good friend of mine and we were enjoying the show. I knew Michael. And I knew he was sitting close. The weird thing was every time I looked up, he was a little closer. I secretly wondered how he was and who he had become in the years since our brief "encounter". I smiled to myself wondering if his inching down the bleachers was for me, or a mere coincidence. Soon I looked up and he was right there, arms length away. Our eyes met when I looked up and we both greeted each other with surprise as if it was the first time we'd seen each other all night. Although I had seen him immediately. And I know he had seen me as well. We talked about nothing and watched the remaining part of the show together. Then as I was leaving, he asked for my phone number. My heart skipped a beat and I obliged him. I've never really been the Barbie Doll type to have guys pursue me, so to say I was flattered would be an understatement. You couldn't have slapped the smile off of my face as I walked away from my mumbling redneck opposite, clad in overalls and sporting a Burt Reynold's style mustache.
Just over a year later we had made our way through the parties on the weekends, the dressing to the nines every day possible and hitting the fanciest restaurants. We were done catching every new release as it hit the movie theater. We didn't need to kiss through every single private moment anymore. Michael and I were comfortable in our little boyfriend/girlfriend status. So comfortable that we pretty much stayed home on our dates watching movies with my family or his. Hearing about a little Italian place in Hattiesburg, Panino's, I had been nagging Michael to take me there. There was always some reason to not go. Until one day he announced that he had made reservations. I was SO excited! I loved getting dressed up, and missed having an excuse to....But I was and am forever a foodie. So I was crazy excited to try the food. That night, Michael put a beautiful antique looking ring on the right finger on the wrong hand. And unfortunately, I was so nervous I can't tell ya how the food was. But the company was my favorite.
Two years later I walked down a humble aisle in a quaint and sweet ceremony and promised God that Michael and I would stick it out. Through the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the rich and the poor. I kept glancing over at my sweet lil mama sitting on the front row. She never shed a tear that day, and never shed her smile either. Perhaps she was so happy to rid herself of the stress of pulling together even a low scale wedding, or perhaps....just maybe, it was because she felt so confident about the union being formed that day. My only reservation about marrying Michael was the fact that I had to leave her. And she needed me. And I needed her. I have to be honest when I tell you that these things were on my mind as I stated my vows. But what was on my heart was the hope that we could make this thing work and achieve and honor what my parents couldn't......A life long commitment.
That first year was a doozy. What is this "honey moon phase" everyone talks about? We fought nonstop! I spun out of this dirt driveway so many times, I am surprised the dirt cloud ever had time to rest. And Michael threw gravel everywhere as his truck sped away too many times to count. We tore each other down emotionally in those first days, and I secretly wondered if my marital fate would be the same as my parents'. Never having lived with anyone besides my mama and daddy, I had no idea how to adjust to this new life. Neither did he. We were two toddlers hoarding up our toys and refusing to share. We were two adolescents declaring "You can't tell me what to do!", We were two teenagers rebelling against any authority thrown our way. We were two young adults trying our best...and yet needing to try so much harder. Luckily, as with anything, time made us better and stronger. The second year was SOOOOOO much better. And the third? Well that's the year we decided to start trying for my Nevie. We got the good news just weeks after trying. I made copies of the ultrasound picture and wrote little cards to various members of our family, then I hand delivered them and stood there and watched them read. Mama was the first, of course. And she yelled "woohoo!" with joy and wrapped me in a tight hug. Then she immediately picked up the phone to call the aunts. She was so happy for us. I was excited, but terrified. Terrified about being a good mother, and terrified about losing something special between Michael and I.
Neva's arrival proved that a degree in child development, and experience in the childcare field means nothing when becoming a mother for the first time. I was scared and intimidated and found myself crying to Dr. Chard at Laurel Pediatrics more than once. But something happened as Michael and I navigated through these new and scary waters of life.....Something formed between us that cannot be described with mere words. A depth of compassion, level of love far above what had been, and a bond beyond our previous comprehension. We were in this together. And we needed each the rest of our lives to pull this off the way we envisioned. What happened to us is an indescribable gift from God, that has strengthened as we have grown ourselves, and grown our precious family.
Having said that, there are still days where I want to make a dust cloud.....But there's something less dramatic about that kind of exit when you have to stop and put three kids in their car seats. And I am sure he'd love to spray this old trailer we live in with gravel sometimes. Perhaps marriages always have those moments. There's comfortability in his knowing that when I sneeze, I usually have to change pants. And I know when he's in the bathroom for 30 mins, that I need to close off that whole end of the trailer for a while... Dressing up? Um not really. I've been pregnant since 2007. Dressing up is feeling to make sure my shirt covers my belly at the bottom. Going out to eat? Sure.....Walker's is awesome and Twiggy's here in Sandersville has a great burger and neither place complains when your baby screams or your toddler spills their drink. Going to a movie? Well, kind of. The movie comes to us and if we're lucky, we make it all the way through without falling asleep on the couch. Partying? Just the kind with balloons and jump houses. Quiet time? Well, if I sit in his lap or if he lays his head in mine, we're both usually tackled by one or all of our girls. They giggle as they bounce on us. We look at each other and have an unspoken moment of understanding. Then we tickle away and really get 'em giggling. Alone time? There's usually a small window after the last lil girl goes to sleep, before the first lil girl wakes up and comes running back down the hall. That's when we get a little alone time.....And you live and learn to make the most of your small windows. Hugs and kisses? Constantly. Hand holding? Absolutely (if we have a free one). See, the thing about marriage (ours anyway) is that comfortability doesn't have to replace passion. But the two joining together is priceless. Things between us definitely changed over the years..... Someone on the outside might say differently. But from the inside, where Michael and I reside....We say it changed for the better.
So there you have it. The evolution of mine and Michael's relationship. It started sweet, but man, it's so much sweeter now. Here's to the next 8.....
Oh yeah, and for the record, I love those overalls and that big '70's stache.
