Call Me "Maybe"

So, I have discovered something about myself that is..... um....interesting. I have multiple personalities. I mean this is in the literal sense, yet not quite the medical--need psychiatric help--sense. I'm pretty sure Michael already knows, but I totally missed it up until now....I just had this revelation today, as I was folding 14,000 loads of clothes, that I am not just one Nikki. I am lots of Nikki's. Perhaps you can identify which one the next time you see me....

Maybe I'll be:

"Nikki the Great"--
 Classic over achiever. (Kind of annoying). She HATES "Nikki the Slobobian". Actually, hate is a strong word. She doesn't believe in hate. She dislikes her with passion. Anyway, she showers daily, and puts some effort into her appearance. She desires a new wardrobe, but is waiting until that beautiful day that she reaches her goal weight, before she splurges. She knows she will lose the weight. She diets adamantly and loves to cook healthy meals for her family. She enjoys cleaning and vows to keep the laundry caught up. Today, she folded 14,000 loads. Michael knows he will not only have clothes clean, but his outfit for the day will be laid out for him. This Nikki bakes cupcakes with the girls and lets them decorate them. She doesn't mind cleaning the mess. She plans learning activities for the girls and loves to take them on little field trips to the park or to do fun things. She refuses to give the girls fast food and tries to keep the tv off all day so their minds will stay stimulated. At nap time, she cleans and starts supper. She reads in her bible when she gets a free moment and enjoys signing herself up for various charity events.

Or Maybe I'll be:

"Nikki the Slobobian"--
 Lazy as can be. (Kind of gross).  She is the arch nemesis of "Nikki the Great". She gets totally ticked when she realizes she's been signed up to do a charity event. She was up at midnight a couple nights ago eating chocolate bluebell icecream out of the container and watching a Duck Dynasty marathon. She may miss a shower here or there, but luckily Tresemme invented this wonderful dry shampoo that can disguise this (somewhat) to others. She NEVER cleans house. She will let the laundry pile up until there is nothing left in a single drawer. Just recently, she let 14,000 loads of clothes pile up. Michael knows to ask this Nikki, "do I have jeans to wear tomorrow?" to ensure his ability to wear something clean. Then, he fishes them out of the dryer or a basket where they are wadded up. She loves to eat. She knows she will never lose the rest of the baby weight--so she don't try. She will eat until she's full, then lay around until she makes room to eat again. IF she changes from her pjs, its straight into stretch pants. She avoids outings with the kids like the plague. They are equally as fatal. She doesn't mind getting the kids a Happy Meal for lunch, then she orders Domino's or Walker's for supper. She despises cooking. She will turn the tv to Nick Jr, for the kids, so that she can play Words with Friends on her phone guilt free. She sleeps with the girls at nap time, then stays up late to watch reality tv.

Or Maybe I'll be:

"Nikki the Impossible"--
For lack of a better way to put it......This chick is nuts. (Wishy washy).She wants Michael to take her out for a break from the kids, but gets mad because he KNOWS she doesn't have anything to wear and he KNOWS she doesn't want to leave the kids--so why did he bring it up? If Michael says "you look good", she knows he's lying....But when he don't say it, she gets insecure. She wants to go back to work to make her own money, but can't fathom giving up time with the girls. She worries that she gives her kids too much attention, but worries they are neglected at the same time. She has sympathy for his long hours, and thinks Michael's job is done the moment he walks in the house... but gets mad because though he offers out of obligation, she wants him to want to help. She seems to look for arguments, but once they start she wonders why. She wants to cook, but supper never turns out right--so what's the point? She saw the 14,000 loads, but got so caught up in what that meant about her as a housekeeper, that she never acutally did anything about them. She doesn't mind cleaning, but it just keeps piling back up--so she loses momentum. She's a total pessimist and cries alot. Over nothing.


I actually have a couple more, but I decided to stick with these three, for tonight's confession. I would assume all of us moms and wives have a couple different sides to us...We have so many responsibilities and wear so many hats--how could we not have several personalities?!? I suppose it's the only way to get it all done and stay sane. Then again, sanity is overrated.